I agree on what the doctor did to save the older woman life. On the moment what could came to your mind is she could be my aunt, mother, grandmother etc., that's dying, so she need to be save like other that's were dying by that big tragedy that attack NY. Paul and other found her under a giant block of concrete the size of a small house. Even though they had other people to save too, because on both tower worked so many people. They were worry that a fire could start and then they didn't get nothing about her. Also they were in a difficult situation and as they were trained they had to think about the 80% solution. They didn't had many tools to help save life's. On the situation I would of done the same to save the person.
My difficult moment was changing high school because I was going to miss a lot my friends, but I had to do it because I move to another city. It was difficult making friends, even though I was in touch with two, that now they are my best friends. Its hard to change to another city that I had everything near by like my church and the high school I wanted to be at and graduate with my classmates I had in middle school.
Paragraph 1
ReplyDelete.8 (B) = The topic sentence restates the question and makes the writer's position clear. It engages the reader.
1.6 (B) The writer chooses vivid details and examples from the reading or real life. The support shows, explains or proves the writer's position while engaging the reader. The reader feels confident in the writer's argument.
1(A) = The paragraph sticks to the topic. The writer avoids repetition or redundancy. The paragraph is organized in a logical, efficient manner.
.8 (B) = The conclusion recaps the topic sentence and summarizes the evidence, without repeating it word-for-word. It satisfies the reader's curiosity about the topic and allows her to answer the "so what?" question.
Paragraph 2
.75 (C) = The topic sentence restates the question and makes the writer's position clear.
1.6 (B) The writer chooses vivid details and examples from the reading or real life. The support shows, explains or proves the writer's position while engaging the reader. The reader feels confident in the writer's argument.
.5(D) = The paragraph may occassionally wander off topic. The writer may repeat ideas unnecessarily. The paragraph is not organized in a logical, efficient manner. The paragraph's organization needs extensive revision.
75 (C) = The conclusion recaps the topic sentence and summarizes the evidence, without repeating it word-for-word. The reader understands the purpose of the paragraph and can answer the "so what?" question.
The best part about these paragraphs is that the writer showed cleared examples and explains what he/she is talking about.